How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
