Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I wear drunk well.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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