Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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