Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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