he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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