Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
