I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize