I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
