Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
