There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Randomize
