I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
