you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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