i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just had sex on a roof
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
