Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
the liver wants what the liver wants
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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