just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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