You smell like stripper and shame
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
