wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
