you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
