Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
