Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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