discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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