We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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