dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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