He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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