why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
