put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
