i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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