It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
