my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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