We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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