You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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