Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
