Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
