Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
