You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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