i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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