I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
