I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I would ride that face into the sunset
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
