dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
