You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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