you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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