It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
