And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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