I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
