no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
