Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
