Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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