its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
