Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
