I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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