Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
