You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
