some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
