He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
