u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
