i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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