This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
they need to just BURY HIM!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
