Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I have post one night stand depression
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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