Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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