my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
