So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
this will be a night to untag.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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