dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
