mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
