spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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